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Sep. 8th, 2009

Poem: too deep inside

you are my sweetest downfall
a sacrifice for you i'd make
a kiss, a taste
i want you. i wanted you...

bitter without the sweet
a poison to covet
a sound, a word
i need you. i needed you...

a revalation and sweet salvation
little bit of sin
a caress, a touch
oh how i needed you.

Be my savior
And I'll be your downfall
Bury all your secrets in my skin
And cherish them in parts of me that savor every kiss

It's all the same
I let myself fall
There's no turning back
Oh how I wish I could go back in time

I have no apologies
your lips are venomous
and your poison is deep inside my veins.
...but I wanted it too much.

Keeper of my silent suffocation
My weakness, my scars
bitter tears encase dead compassion.
i care. i cared for you...

May. 9th, 2009

Poetry: mend me

you don't understand what you do to me.
you tear at my emotions.
play with my heart.
love me, love me not.

one day, when you want something to play with,
i'll be gone.
nothing but a cooling space in your bed,
and an empty place in your heart.

i wish that you could see it from my point of view.
how much i love you.
just how painful it is...
how deep down in my soul it reaches.

but you don't see that.
or if you did,
you turned a blind eye now.
and you can't see it.

wake up! and do it quickly...
you might see me, fleeing out the door,
holding the pieces of my broken heart.
trying to bind them with my tears...

don't stare at me,
you'll only see me turn away.
nursing wounds that i thought i wouldn't recieve from your hands,
rather, your words and action...

you walk, i walk...
it doesnt' matter, i will become the one thats stronger.
i will make it so.
my heart will be mended...one day.

Poetry: only a smile

if you were to sleep in my bed...
I’d make you wear only your smile.
your body would be showered with kisses.
my tongue would taste your sweat.
your hands would caress my skin.
my legs would wrap tight around your waist
writhing would be our bodies
my back would arch under you
your name I could cry out
bodies tumble, upon you I land
hands on hips, rhythm escalating
whimpers and cries of more.

Poetry: just before

kiss me hard.
once, just before,
i leave, to find
my way,
down your body.

to the place,
that is sweet
heaven, between
your thighs.

Poetry: burnt offerings

i am your empty fear...
the haunting tightness in your chest.
the whisper of a smile, long since past
i am my own undoing...

lush bitterness pools inside
you can't hide that from me...
i am your hearts longing...
the captured moment frozen in time

driven lust and dead love...
i give you nothing but burnt offerings
ravaged and raped by others eyes
hear my silent screams trapped inside.

Poetry: if for a moment

if only for a moment
if for a moment,
i could undo everything i have done...
would you let me?

if for a moment,
i could love you again...
would love me back?

if for a moment,
i could say i'm sorry...
would you hear me?

if for a moment,
i wanted you back,
would you come back?

if for a moment,
i needed you...
would you be there?

if for a moment,
i could heal your pain...
would you let me?

if for a moment,
i could give you back everything...
would you let me?

if for a moment,
i wanted you to love me,
would you do that for me?

if for a moment,
i could turn back time...
would you still be there for me?

if for a moment,
i wept for things lost...
would you hold me tight?

if for a moment,
i let you have me...
would you want me?

if for a moment,
i said i love you...
would you care?

if only for a moment,
if only for a while...
if only forever...

Poetry: i sit and watch

i sit and watch,
i can do no more.
you made me kill
everything inside.

i hope one day,
that i can get it back.
that i'm not so far gone.
...mayeb i can be saved.

i once held love and hope.
now my hands hold nothing
empty and numb.
i sit and watch

Poetry: don't let her die

encase your gentle soul in sterner stuff.
put up the walls, encase yourself tight.
let none in, save for yourself.
even then, you might have to keep that one at bay.

how long can you last?
fight everything off.
love, hope, hate, trust...
you can't fight forever...no matter how hard you try.

feel your walls crumble.
watch them fall to rubble at your feet,
leaving you defenseless, vunrable.
no where left to run, no where left to hide.

keep fighting. don't let anyone close.
no. don't do that. it hurts to much.
it'll burn inside, and no amount of ice can kill it.
fight and cry, blinded by your tears.

they say nothing, let them see your heart of ice.
maybe they'll think again.
nothing from you no emotions, no touch.
show them the pain.. let them see.

don't show them behind the walls.
that are erected so high. don't go there.
don't show them the pain inside, how you keep it close.
they don't want it, they can't handle it.

you lie. even to yourself.
nothing but pain, and longing.
you wish to love, to touch, to be.
you want it to end...this wicked pain...

let it end, let the walls fall.
discard that shell and show yourself.
come out. let her shine.
hide her not away.... don't let her die.

Poetry: Created Addicition

I sigh, and it hums within me.
Like a lover lost, finally coming home.
I cry out for it, devour it, with a hungry need.
A need.
A need, so strong, and one that you put there.
Oh, I don’t hate you for it, not at all. I would love you, if you let me.
I never knew what it was, until you. Til you showed me what it was.
This fragile thing. This thing that tempers my soul.
Oh, I tried to fight it, but I lost that battle.
And I’m bloody, and laying on the floor.
All I can do now is, let it roll through me, like an orgasm I haven’t had yet.
The intensity, and passion, it empowers me with.
I can feel, it dance.
Its sinister dance up my spine, playing it like a xylophone,
My gasps, and sighs, the notes it stirs from deep within.
I cry, and whimper, like a slut. A slut to proud to beg for more.
I need it, this, wicked rage.
Give me more, I can take it. It’s not abuse if I ask for it.
The more you give me, the stronger I feel. An addiction is now what I have to feed.
Yes, yes, yes! You know what I want, and need. Feed it to me, let me have it.
Don’t hold back; know that I can take it. I am willing, and the willing are divine.
Let my body, be its playground.
I writhe in exquisite pain, so close, so near... it’s the pleasure that’s so dear.
Almost, I... I think I missed it. You drew back, frightened, of what you created, in me.
Am I the monster now? do you need to fix me, and help me be clean of my addiction?
Say no, and let me hum whilst I devour its flavours.

Poetry: Drowned Words

Sit with me, in this place of shadows.
Let them fall, dance and play.

Talk with me now; let me listen.
Hushed words, as time ticks by.

Tell me more I say, your voice like sweet ambrosia.
Your voice, its lilt, pitch and gentle caresses lick at my ear.

The words, they do not matter.
Just sitting with you, listening to you is the world to me.

Fevered whispers, breathy sighs, and a word like a caress.
It touches all the right spots, and heightens the moment.

In time perhaps, things will come to a halt,
When both of us are spent, and our voices satiated.

I can feel it looming over me, high and intense...
Like a wave, your words spill over me, run along me, drowning me.

I would struggle to reach the light, to escape these words,
But I can’t, my grip is lost in the sweet current of words you have given me.

I let myself go, and falling slipping along,
The way your voice hitches in your throat, the breath on my skin.

Crashing against me, filling up around me, drowning me in your depths.
I can struggle no more against you, the sea of words that break me open.

Let me be, split open and needy.
My desire and lust for your voice is all that drives me now... it drives me.

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